How to Be a Better Parent? Answer in 10 Steps
Posted: Thursday, January 21, 2010
by Laura Kaine
YourParentingHelp
How to be a better parent is a good question ! Not understanding our children is what makes us make mistakes that have consequences on our children's behavior. Learning communication skills is very important as we can definitely improve things with slight changes in our words and reactions. By paying attention to our own attitude, we can be a better parent every day.
1. Pay attention to what your child tells you . Make eye contact. Ask questions, show your interest in what he shares with you. Just like you don't appreciate when your child keeps playing and doesn't look at you when you tell him something important, respect him when he's the one who talks. Take that time.
2. Play with your child . You'll learn a lot about your child by playing with him and he'll learn about you too.
3. Explain why you are the one who settle the rules and why they exist. Tell your child that they are made out of love, because you know what is good for him. When he'll be an adult, he'll make his own rules in his house. Make him understand that a family with rules means parents care for children.
4. Kiss, cuddle, tickle, hug ! Having physical contact with your child is important because it makes him feel secure and loved and safe. How to be a better parent is also about showing our love and never let the daily routine take away from us the tender moments we should spend with our kids.
5. Explain your decisions and reactions . What is obvious to you isn't always obvious for your child. Talk to him, answer his questions and explain the reasons of the punishments you give him. A child who doesn't understand why he's punished will never change his behaviour. Always keep that in mind. Children accept things more when they understand them.
6. Be consistent in the interest you have for your child's life. Don't stop asking him questions about his day, his friends, the things he's interested in. It can be a bit frustrating if your child is a teenager and just says "It was ok" but don't give up, it'll pay off eventually.
7. Share some things about you with your child, things that can teach him values, or help him in one way or another. Talk about your childhood, your point of view as a child on the rules in your family for example. Kids love stories about their parents' childhood, they feel more understood. Knowing about the mistakes you made or the things that were difficult for you back then can help your child dealing with his own failures. Don't make things up of course, just tell real stories about you.
8. Praise your child in everything he does or try to do. Always put your trust in him and show your unconditional support.
9. Be sure that your child never feels guilty or bad about feeling sad, angry, frustrated All these feelings are normal and you need to make your child aware of this. He'll be more inclined to express them to you.
10. Sustain your child's curiosity . Try to know what he's interested in and even if you're not crazy about his hobby, show some interest, buy him something related to it. Be here no matter what he likes, what he becomes. This is how to be a better parent.
Even if applying these steps can definitely help you strengthening the bond between you and your child, there are of course certain situations when it's harder to apply such steps. That happens when your child is not under your control anymore and a parenting method could help you get that control back and be able to be a parent and a better one each day.
How to be a better parent isn't a difficult question but it takes patience and attention to be there for your child . To help parents that are really struggling with their kids, just like I did, I gathered a team of parents and we made a selection of parenting programs that have been effective for us. We review those methods on a website (link in my bio). It might interest you in addition to the steps described in this article. A difficult child isn't a fatality, you just need better communication skills!
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