How To Discipline A Child



Posted: Saturday, February 27, 2010

by Laura Kaine
YourParentingHelp

First of all, what do we exactly mean by "How to discipline a child?". I seriously think that the word "discipline" is an old fashion way to express a good behaviour in a kid with you and with others. It implies the respect of the limits you are attempting to established within your family. It is the discipline. Rules. Obey. Discipline. Sounds a bit military to me. So what about love? What about tender moments with your child? Some of you could think "I can love my kid and still set up strict boundaries he has to obey. Limits are fundamental, love is natural. It is distinct." Well no. It's not different. It precisely needs to be the same. Let me explain this.

My straightforward and clear answer to the question "How to discipline a child?" is the following: Make your rules mean love. Do not distinguish the sweet and playful moments you share with your little one from the discipline issue.

Listed here are the 3 easy steps I want to share with you:

1. Ask your child what he thinks of the limits you set up. The reason why, in his opinion, you're making these rules. Then ask what he would do without these principles if he was by himself. Then explain that, as a parent, you are the one to know what is good for him and that the reason why you set up principles is mainly because you love him and want the best for him. Without these principles, there would be less love. When you punish him, it's because you would like him to comprehend what is right and what is wrong so that when he'll grow up, he'll do what is good for himself. Children can become aware of that.

2. When you say "no", clarify what you say "no" to. Always. If it's a firm, justified and explained "no", your kid will think about it and understand it. Without an explicit reason, a "no" can seem pretty unfair to your kid. Give him the tools to understand your decisions and as a result his own behaviour.

3. Separate your child from his acts. What I suggest is : always make really clear to your little one that when you punish him for doing this or that, it is merely because you do not accept his behavior. It has nothing to do with the love you feel for him. You love him anyway. Simply tell him this truth. But it is his behavior that has to change. Youngsters easily take a punishment for a lack of love. The love for your child is evident for you, not always for him. Hug him after every punishment to help him accept punishments as a part of education and as a natural consequence to a bad behavior.

I do wish I answered "How to discipline a child?" in a way that will help you parenting your child and give him all he needs to become a responsible, loving and sensible person. Naturally, your problem may perhaps be way more complex. If your child is disrespectful and defiant for too long, you might need a lot more than these advices. What I can recommend is to apply a parenting program. That's what I did. Regardless of how complicated the situation is at the moment, you can solve it. Believe me.

Laura Kaine is the mother of June (10) and Jack (4). She shares her knowledge online as an expert parenting writer.

Need help parenting your child? Laura and some parents review a selection of effective parenting methods that worked for them at www.YourParentingHelp.com.

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